It’s already begun

DSCN0268I’m sitting in my bedroom thinking about the past year, 12 months, 365 days. It seems like a long time when you break it down yet it past me by in a blur. As I get older the distinction between each year becomes hazy, time and the passing of time is no longer as rigid as it used to be.

At the start of 2017 I wrote that my phrase for the year was to ‘do the work’. I felt like I was in trouble of becoming too much of a dreamer. The phrase ‘do the work’ was like a call to action. To actively take active steps to make things happen.

To not sit around wallowing that my blog isn’t good enough but to instead write blog posts, improve my photographs and stop being so afraid to click publish.

To not feel down because I don’t have a job in construction/civil engineering but to seek out employment opportunities, believe that its possible and not become consumed  by rejection emails.

To not walk around wishing I had people to do x, y and z with but to instead just to do x, y and  z by myself.  I shouldn’t miss out on things just because I’m scared of doing things alone sometimes.

In 2017, I started WORDS BY gemm, my very own self-hosted blog, gained full-time employment in something that I want to do long-term and attended events/meetups alone.

2017 has been the year that I started pushing myself more, it was a challenge but it has made me realise that I can do a lot more than I give myself credit.

This year I’ve been able to let go of the past experiences that left me feeling hopeless and helpless. I’m no longer consumed by self-doubt, it still resurfaces from time to time but it doesn’t consume me.

DSCN0270That is what my progress looks like and I’m smiling right now as I type these words because once upon a time I didn’t even believe it was possible for someone like me.

I love myself, I believe in myself and I am capable.

The end of December has had me in a sort of limbo unable to remain fully present. I was caught between the past and future, reflecting on 2017 whilst preparing for the new year.

2018 is going to be a year full of opportunities for me. There will be new people, new places and new challenges to overcome but I’m ready to embrace it because it’s already begun.

It was sometime mid-December where I got this feeling as though the energy of a new year was already present in my life. As though a new year had already begun. Unlike in the past I wasn’t waiting for January 1st, putting any pressure on that day to be the point in which my whole life changes. I’ve already started writing about what I want my year to consist of and envisioning it. I’ve already started carving out what I want my year to look like for the coming 12 months.

In terms of resolutions I’m aiming for optimum wellness and joy. It might sound pretty vague or simple but that’s all I really want for myself. I don’t know exactly what that looks like for me but I plan to spend 2018 figuring it out.

What are your new years resolutions?

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