Confidence, creativity and comparison

It was an early Sunday afternoon that I decided to have a look at my old blog that ran from 2013-2015. Of all the blogs I’ve had over the years that one was my favourite not because it was my best work but because I enjoyed it the most. It’s the blog I look back on a few times a year when I feel like I’m falling out of love with blogging because reading it reminds me of the joy I get from creating blog content.

I have so many ideas and although I could put them on Instagram it just wouldn’t be the same. I can admit that in the length of time that I’ve been blogging I’ve never really been good at adapting.

It took me a while to start using decent quality images, I’ve struggled to maintain any sort of consistency and there have been many times that my blog posts haven’t been of a good enough standard.

Seth Godin said something along the lines of ‘if you aren’t seeing good results you’re either not reaching the right people or not making good enough stuff’. In my case the latter was true, but I also felt like my content would never be as good as other bloggers.

I’ve had this blog for a little over a year and things have been slow in terms of growth because my heart hasn’t really been in it at all. My focus has been on going to work and uni, attending events, hanging out with friends and family, doing assignments, studying for exams and seeing live music.

Unlike my teenage years when creating was at the forefront of how I spent my time, over the past year I haven’t been creating much at all.

However, I have been writing (as always), taking and editing pictures and I very recently got back into sewing.

It wasn’t until I attended a creative event with a friend around a month ago that I truly realised how much my creativity had fallen away. Even blogging had become something I would talk about in the past tense.

Maybe, what I needed was to get other aspects of my life in order or maybe I just became lazy.

Either way I’ve decided that I want to start blogging again. This isn’t some big comeback, but I do miss posting online because it’s fun for me.

I’ve watched the industry grow before my eyes and it makes me happy to see people that started on wordpress.com now self-employed, working with brands and going on press trips, it really highlights what is possible. But when it comes to me specifically, the possibilities of putting myself out there make me nervous.

I’d always believed that I could ever be good enough for the opportunities that can come from creating content online. Everyone seemed to be getting blogger mail, making friends, working with brands and attending events but that was so different from the blogging world that I was experiencing.

Such is life that my beliefs became a self-fulfilling prophecy and as blogging became bigger and bigger I found myself shrinking smaller and smaller. My efforts became half-hearted and I stopped progressing altogether. That’s a big part of why I became so disenchanted with blogging.

But over the past few months my mindset has changed. I’ve become much more open to the idea of possibility and I’m applying that attitude to blogging.

I’m quite keen to get back to expressing myself through my blog: coming up with new ideas, taking photos, editing and thinking about how I can share thoughts/ideas/products in interesting ways.

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